Podcast Transcript
Welcome to another episode of the Thriver’s Ed podcast. If I sound a little less cheery and excited than I normally do, that is because I am recording this, a little less than a week after my beloved 16-year-old dog Mickey passed away the day after Christmas. I'm going to do my very best to keep this positive, or at least neutral. I’m going to try not to cry, but I want to go ahead and give you a mascara warning if you've ever lost a pet. I'm going to do my best to kind of keep it together, but it has been a really hard week here in the Rossi household and, we're just kind of taking it day by day. It's hard to let go of something that you've had for 16 years.
But the point of this episode is not about my dog's passing. On a side note, if you're not aware, there is a website called doesthedogdie.com and essentially if stuff like animals passing away is upsetting to you like it is to me, you can look up particular movies or TV shows and people will basically report in whether or not that happens, right? The dog dies. That was the initial intent of the website. They've put in other things that people can find upsetting, like, you know, abuse or abandonment. There's a whole host of different topics that people can find upsetting that you can kind of prescreen things for. I will say it's not always 100% accurate. Some people are just trolls and are, you know, marking things as, upsetting even when absolutely nothing happens, or saying it doesn't happen when it very clearly does. But for the most part, if you look at the average trend, if you want to make sure that what you're about to watch is not going to be as upsetting as, you know, John Wick or even, you know, my personal life this last week. That is a resource there for you.
But again, not the point of this episode. The point of this episode actually is about showing up. It's about why showing up every single day matters, even when, like, for me right now, it is hard to do. So what I really want to talk about today is consistency, essentially, and having resilience to continue to show up even when it's hard, even when times are challenging, and finding strength in just the ability to continue to show up, you know, day after day or moment after moment. So of course this is me showing up when I would rather not. I have been, you know, allowing myself a lot of space to deal with the loss. I've allowed myself a lot of ice cream, but at the end of the day, I still have to show up. I have responsibilities to my clients, I have responsibilities to my listeners, and my family.
And so even when it might be easier to just pull the covers back up over my head, and especially in my bed, we have this massive comforter that's, you know, super thick and warm, and so it's really hard to leave that bed sometimes. This is what we do and there's good reason for it. So we're going to get into all of that today. Essentially, the key of showing up is that it's crucial for your own personal growth, for your success, and honestly for healing. Even during emotional times, I could sit there and I could wallow over the loss of my pet, or I could take the lessons learned. I can take the unconditional love that we had for each other and I can move forward with that kind of carrying that with me as I move forward.
It's obviously important to allow yourself the space needed to process these emotions.
If I just dove back into work without even allowing myself to feel how I felt, I think that does me a disservice. I don't think feelings go anywhere. I think the only way through them is to actually feel them. So I've given myself this space to really be upset, and occasionally spells will still hit me some days, but I've given myself the chance to start that healing process, and the rest of that healing process is continuing on with my life and moving forward. So this episode is a bit heavy. I'm going to not talk about death the whole time, I promise.
But the point is consistency. And even with your life isn't that hard. Consistency is still challenging. It's still hard to show up day after day or period after period or time after time. Because it involves work, right? There is comfort in the not doing. It is obviously easier to not do anything at all.
There's a reason that in physics they say an object at rest stays in rest. It takes effort, it takes energy to start doing something. But that's why consistency is so important because an object in motion also stays in motion. If we can continue taking steps, that doesn't mean that the steps have to be the exact same size every single time.
But if we continue taking steps and, these steps don't have to be the same size every single time, we're more likely to stay in motion. It's easier to keep up than if we let it go. And then try to pick it back up later. So essentially this episode is about showing up. It's about showing up in different areas even when it's challenging. That means your work life, your relationships with people around you, even showing up for yourself, right? Taking care of yourself. If you've, I don't know about you, but I have a self-care routine where I have all kinds of potions and lotions that I love to use. I'm a little bit of a collector in the skincare area and it means continuing to show up and not just letting yourself go, it's feeling your feelings but still respecting your body and taking care of yourself. Which I'll be honest, I definitely didn't do those first couple days. Like I said, I ate a lot of ice cream, but that's not going to serve me going forward. So I have to continue to show up for myself and for my body as we move forward.
And there are a lot of obstacles to doing this right? So when times are hard, there's a lot of emotions there. It can be really hard to do what we're supposed to do, what we committed to, what we should be doing when we're just emotionally overwhelmed, when there's a lot of feelings to be felt, we're drained, we lack energy and essentially, it's just easier to withdraw or we might be tempted to kind of pull away from the world. Another thing that keeps us from being consistent is the mistaken belief that we need to feel like showing up. Like we're waiting for the motivation. The motivation comes from doing the thing. When you start to see the results of your efforts, that's what's motivating. If you're sitting around waiting to feel like doing what it is that you committed to or what you know is going to get you closer to your goal, you can be sitting around for a really long time.
Consistency is not about waiting to show up for the perfect moment or when you can show up perfectly. It's about doing it anyway. It's about continually making the steps and that is what keeps you motivated to move forward. It's not waiting for the feeling to get going. That's actually going to start that consistency. You have to do it anyway. And that's kind of the moral of all of this, right? It's yeah, times are going to be hard, you're going to be tired, you might be overwhelmed, you might feel unmotivated, you might not want to show up because you can't show up perfectly. So then why bother? But that's not how it works. That's not where we get the value from consistency.
So, yeah, consistency is hard. It takes energy, the commitment to show up even when you don't feel like it. It pulls you away from easier opportunities like sitting on the couch or sleeping or reading. It's difficult, but there's a lot of value in it. By being consistent, these small movements, they build momentum over time, right? It's that object in motion, staying in motion. Maybe posting on a blog one week is not going to make a big difference in your business, but if you do that every week, you’ve built up 52 articles in the year. And maybe in that, you are pointing people to it in your social media, you're building up authority. If one person on the Internet has one blog article that they've ever written, it's unlikely that they're going to be considered an authority. But the more that you put your message out in the world, the more you show yourself as an original thought leader, the more you're going to build authority. And that comes from doing the same thing over and over and over again. It's also how we improve. Even the great practice, they show up over and over again. These athletes that have some natural talents built in, still practice because that's how we get better.
And that's what consistency is. It's practice. It's doing the same thing over and over again in hopes of improving and in hopes of getting, better results. By continuing to show up, especially when times are hard, we also build emotional resilience. So I'm showing myself that even when I don't feel like it, I can still show up, record my podcast like I committed to doing. And that creates a bit of stability in what is honestly not a very stable time, when there's kind of an emotional issue going on or some challenges going on. And I'm not going to lie, it provides a nice distraction.
While it's important to process any feelings that are going on when you're having a challenging time, it's also important not to dwell on them, right? Those emotions have their space, but it's not going to serve me if all I do is thinking about my, dead dog, right? So diving into the things that I've committed to, which is, you know, helping my clients, sending out email newsletters, recording podcasts, etc. It provides a little bit of space from that heaviness. Now, on the other side, this is where workaholism can come from, where people try to completely escape their emotions. It's not What I'm preaching here, I don't believe in workaholism. In fact, my entire business model is get more by doing less. Right? It's having systems and automations and processes set up so that you're not constantly tied to your business.
But a bit of a distraction, a bit of space can be really helpful in allowing you to move through what is otherwise kind of a turbulent time. So how do we keep showing up? How do we keep showing up when things are hard? There's a couple things that we can do. One is acknowledge that it might not be perfect, but doing what you can, right? So with my dog, as he got older, we couldn't go on long walks. In fact, he, we would go from my house, over one across the street, back over a house and over. So we would make this little swear of just four houses in my neighborhood. And he absolutely loved it because he just loved smelling and peeing on everything that he could find. But that might not have been my intention, right. I may have wanted to take him for a nice long walk. And some days that's really all you can do. It's that five to ten minutes of showing up. But that is where again, we build that momentum.
Habits can also be really important here. So having a streak, I think it was, Jerry Seinfeld that was talking about how he wrote jokes every single day and he had a calendar and he would mark an X on every single day that he writes a joke. And it's hard to break that streak. When you've started doing something, it doesn't feel good. Even if you may not be able to commit to the exact same level that you are used to or that you wish you could, doing some small thing helps keep that streak alive. So that way when things do feel better, you've got all of this momentum and hopefully some results behind you to make it even more motivating to continue on.
And when I talk about small pieces here, we can talk about the minimum viable routine. So one of my mentors, Carinda Gosling, she talks about the minimum viable product when she's talking about creating a low-ticket digital offer. And essentially what she's saying by this is that we don't have to have all of our funnel completely built out of everything put together that we're starting with kind of that minimum piece that we need and we can always build on going from there. So if times are challenging for you right now, then what's that smallest action that you can take that's going to continue building on that momentum? It doesn't have to be the full depth of everything that you would do if you've committed to posting on social media. Maybe you're not going on Instagram Lives, maybe you're not posting fancy reels, but maybe you're going in there and leaving a comment or two to kind of build some engagement within your community or within your followers. Maybe you're posting just a simple image without this well thought out long caption filled with keywords. It's not perfect. Like, maybe you're just sharing an update of where you are to relate to your community.
What is that minimum piece that you can do when your energy and your motivation is low? And focusing on that small piece keeps it from feeling overwhelming. It keeps it feeling more manageable. So what is that one little thing you can do, that most important thing that'll give you that sense of accomplishment? If you can check off that box to continue building that little piece of consistency. The other piece that makes a lot of this so much easier is your community. So I had loved ones reach out to me when they heard that my dog had passed away to check in on me, to see what they can do, to offer, you know, words of wisdom and advice, especially people that had pets and have lost pets themselves. In fact, my parents actually flew in to be with us. The dog had already passed away. We were hoping that they, you know, could say goodbye. They didn't get a chance to, but they flew in for a couple days just to sit with us, to acknowledge our grief and to share their own. And it really makes a difference to have people there, because going through something hard is difficult, but going through something hard alone feels almost impossible.
So having people there that can support you, that can take care of you, that, like my husband, can go out for multiple ice cream runs over the last week, it really makes a difference. Let's say you're not going through anything particularly difficult right now. Other than just the challenges of showing up day after day. Your community can provide accountability. They can check in on you if you have a buddy that you know. For example, going to the gym, it's harder to avoid when you've got a commitment and someone else is waiting for you to go. So that's why my husband and I have scheduled in gym dates into our calendar, because maybe one of us doesn't exactly feel like it, but if the other is strapping on their tennis shoes, we're more likely to go ahead and join in because it kind of feels like you're letting them down if you don't go.
So having that accountability, how can you have accountability? One of the things that I do, for some of my clients is I have an offer where I provide weekly emails. It's basically coaching through emails. And at the beginning of the week I ask them questions, we check in, see how things are going. The clients respond to me and kind of give me their plan, their challenges, and I write back and offer my advice, my coaching. So it's basically coaching through emails, but that is a level of accountability as well. These customers and clients are committing to whatever action it is that they're going to take and I hold them to that. I check in on them. Now, of course life's going to change. Things are going to, you know, get in the way and circumstances come up that we may not have thought about. But that doesn't mean that we let go of the plan completely. Maybe the plan just needs to morph a little bit. But having someone there knowing that you said you're going to do something, it just makes it, it makes it so much… I was going to say it makes it easier to continue, but really just makes it harder to throw in the towel at that point. Right. Because we don't want to let people down. Just generally, that's just not something that most people are very comfortable doing. Even if we're not a people pleaser, it's just, it doesn't reflect well in us. It shows that we're not necessarily of our word.
And so who can you turn to for accountability? Who can you turn to when you don't feel like showing up every day? Is there a group of friends, a community, a mastermind, a coach that can help support you, that you can make a verbal or even written commitment to, to continue showing up and they can lovingly support you through that?
I think one of the biggest lessons I'm going to take away from the past 16 years with Mickey is that having a dog required at least me to be a little less selfish, a little more selfless. If that poor dog would cuddle up on me, it's almost impossible to move. Right. He liked to sleep right behind your knees. He would cuddle up and then put u, when you're laying down in bed, he would cuddle up and put his head on your knees and tuck in right in there. And I'm a person who likes to toss and turn all night long, but it's so hard to move and disturb a sleeping little puppy like that. And so even though I might not be comfortable, I know that he is comfortable when I would take him for walks. I didn't always want to go. I'll be honest, most times I didn't want to go. But it wasn't about me. That's what he wanted. He wanted to be outside, smell things, like I said, to pee on everything he could pass. And so I had to choose to put his comfort and feelings and desire and joy before my own.
On Christmas Eve. Sorry. On Christmas Eve, he was not doing well at all. And my husband and I had planned this, really fancy dinner, this extravagant dinner for the two of us. And I just, I couldn't do it. I spent that whole night, well, honestly, crying, because I was imagining this was the end. I wasn't, I didn't realize how right I was. But I just laid there with him and cuddled on him. And so it would have been nice to have, a joyous, happy Christmas Eve filled with delicious food and non-alcoholic wine. But that's not what my puppy needed in the moment. My puppy needed attention and pets and love and reassurance when he wasn't feeling his best.
So having a dog is tough. It's tough in a lot of ways. It is tough in what it does to your heart when they are sick or when it's time for them. it's tough in just little annoyances. I still have two puppies at home and one of them loves to bark. And it is very deafeningly loud. And he likes to do it just out of the blue, I guess. He hears a squirrel or he sees a light outside and he'll bark and it gives me a heart attack every time. But the love that I get from my animals, the love that I get to share with my animals, all of my animals have been rescued dogs. And knowing that I am providing them a better life than they would have and they otherwise would have had it makes me feel good. And they've joked that they're my emotional support animals, but there's nothing like the unconditional love that you get from a pet.
I don't know how we turned here. We were talking about consistency. I told you I was going to talk about my dead dog and I did it anyway. Well, let's move on then to the Thrive in Five segment for today. And so the moral of this episode was really supposed to be about why showing up matters, even when it's hard, because it builds your resilience, it creates momentum, and it honors what you've said is important to you.
So how do we do this? Well, you're thrive in 5 for today is one set a small goal. What's that minimum viable routine? What's that one small action that you can take? Even if it's, you know, writing one sentence, if you've committed to writing like what is one tiny thing that you can do that's continuing to build on whatever that bigger overarching goal or skill is that you're hoping to develop.
Number two is create a morning anchor. So this ties in with number one, but I would suggest doing it early in the morning. This is why my husband and I schedule our gym dates. Okay, I say it's the morning. It's like 10, 11 in the morning. But still, if I were going to push it off to the afternoon, I would have so many more excuses come up that would allow me to just say no for the day. But by getting it done early in the morning, I have a quick win before I've built up all the reasons why I couldn't possibly go today. So I would suggest if you're going to commit to that tiny action, do it first thing and get it done with. And then you've already started your day off on a positive way.
Number three, maybe choose a mantra to keep you going. Like a very basic non-original one is progress, not perfection, just something that's going to allow you to motivate yourself. Something you can tell yourself as you're taking this tiny minimum viable routine, minimum viable step, minimum viable action, whatever you want to call it to keep yourself going forward.
Number four is to simplify your expectations. So maybe you're not showing up 100%. I'm not showing up at 100% today. I honor you for sticking with me through this episode. But I said I was go going toa do it. I have something to share. I want the passing of my dog to mean something and for this it means continuing to show up when I don't want to. Even if my showing up is maybe 50% is 30% right. It's better than nothing. Anything I do is going to be better than not doing anything at all because I'm learning lessons even in this episode. I am practicing my podcasting skills even in this episode. And I don't feel like showing up. So I might not improve as quickly as I would if I had my full energy and excitement behind it. But every step forward is a step forward, even if it's small.
And the last tip is to reflect and celebrate on what you've accomplished. So acknowledge what it is that you did. I am going to get a lot of joy out of clicking. I use ClickUp for my project management and so I will get to click that the podcast episode has been recorded and eventually edited and uploaded. after this episode, that's how I kind of celebrate myself. Because I'm the type of person where it feels really good to check things off a to-do list. So that is how I celebrate and acknowledge myself. And if you have trouble doing this, I highly recommend building on that accountability community aspect because other people are so good at celebrating you. My husband, family and friends, they're so good at acknowledging the wins that I don't see in myself and vice versa. It's so easy for me to acknowledge all of the growth that my clients have and not so easy to do it for myself. So lean on your community, especially when times are hard.
I want to thank you for joining me in this episode today. If you yourself are struggling as well with any loss or challenges in your life, I just want to say that my heart goes out to you. I know how difficult it is, and I just want to say that my thoughts are with you. I know that you're strong enough to get through this. We will get through this together and I will see you on the other side. Until next week, keep thriving.