You’ve been thinking about what you want for months, or maybe even years, and you know exactly what steps you need to take in order to get there. Or maybe you don’t know all the steps, but you know the first step. And yet, you haven’t taken it. You make excuses about why you can’t do it right now, promising yourself you’ll start later, tomorrow, next week – letting fear and doubt convince you to procrastinate on doing the thing that will bring you closer to what it is you truly want. Why can’t you just get out of your own damn way?
I get it. I’ve been there, and for some dreams, I’m still there. So, let’s take a look at the doubts and fears that have been holding us back and, more importantly, how we can kick them to the curb and make our dreams a reality.
Why You Haven’t Taken The Leap
Picture this: You’re standing on the edge of a metaphorical cliff, and below lies your dream – the book you’ve always wanted to write, the business you want to start, the countries you’re itching to explore. But as you peer over the edge, doubt and fear rear their ugly heads. They whisper, “Who are you to do this? What if you fail? What will people think?“
Sound familiar? It should, because these doubts and fears are universal. We all grapple with them. But guess what? They’re just thoughts, not facts. They’re stories we tell ourselves, often based on societal norms and our own past experiences. And stories can be changed.
The Fear of Failure
Let’s tackle the big one first: the fear of failure. It’s the granddaddy of all fears, the one that keeps us rooted in our comfort zones, far away from our dreams. But here’s the truth: failure is not the end; it’s a chance to take another look at our map and find another way forward. If you try something and you fail, you’ve simply found one way that didn’t work.
There is no failure. Only feedback.
Robert Allen
Remember, I’m on this journey with you, and this was and is a big one for me. When I decided to quit my job and become a coach, I was terrified. What if no one cared? What if it was a colossal flop? But I also knew that if I didn’t try, I’d never know. So, I took a deep breath, made the leap, and embraced the possibility of failure.
And you know what? It wasn’t perfect. It has been messy, and I have stumbled along the way. But I keep going. I learn from my mistakes, refine my efforts, and keep exploring new strategies to help grow my coaching business. Because the alternative? Going back to a job that I hated and reaching the end of my life knowing that I didn’t fulfill my heart’s desire to help people is much scarier to me.
And if I try every single possibility to achieve my dreams and it doesn’t work out, I’ll be in the same place I am now, not having the thing I really want. But I’ll know I tried my best, and I’ll never have to wonder “What if?”.
The Fear of Judgment
Ah, the fear of what others will think. It’s a tough one, especially when you’re on a journey that might not fit the mold of societal expectations. Maybe people around you are used to a certain version of you, and your dreams don’t align with their perception.
But here’s the empowering truth: what other people think of you is none of your business. Seriously. Their judgments are often a reflection of their own insecurities and limitations, not a commentary on your worth or potential.
When I decided to go alcohol-free and started coaching women on their own journeys, I faced judgment from some friends and family. They couldn’t understand why I would want to leave a secure job to start my own business, and many had never heard of coaching before outside of the sports world. But I stayed true to my path because I knew it was right for me.
And you should too. Surround yourself with supportive people who lift you up and understand your dreams. The naysayers? Let their doubts and judgments fuel your determination. Is there anything more rewarding than saying, “I told you so!”?
The Fear of Success
Wait, what? Fear of success? It might sound counterintuitive, but it’s real. Sometimes, we fear what life will look like if we actually achieve our dreams. Success can bring change, responsibility, and the unknown, and that can be scary. It can also open ourselves up to criticism and judgment from others, especially strangers. But we don’t care what other people, especially those who don’t even know us, think about us or our dreams, right?
Here’s the thing: you are resilient, adaptable, and capable of handling whatever success throws your way. Your dreams are worth any challenges that may arise. So, embrace the fear of success as a sign that you’re on the right track. And keep focusing on how amazing it will feel once that dream becomes a reality.
Overcoming Doubts and Fears
Now that we’ve shone a light on those pesky fears, how do we kick them to the curb? Here are some practical steps to help you overcome doubts and turn your dreams into reality:
1. Name Your Fears: Start by acknowledging your doubts and fears. Write them down, talk about them, and give them a name. When you shine a light on them, they lose some of their power.
2. Challenge Your Inner Critic: That inner voice that tells you that you’re not good enough? Challenge it. Ask yourself for evidence that supports your fears. You’ll likely find that it’s based on assumptions, not facts.
3. Take Small Steps: You don’t have to leap off that metaphorical cliff all at once. Break your big dreams into small, manageable steps. Each small victory will build your confidence and momentum.
4. Seek Support: Surround yourself with a supportive community. Whether it’s friends, family, or a coach like me, having people who believe in you can make a world of difference.
5. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. You’re human, and humans make mistakes. Treat yourself with the same love and understanding that you’d offer to a dear friend.
6. Visualize Success: Spend time visualizing your dreams coming true. Feel the emotions, taste the victory, and let that positive energy drive you forward.
7. Stay Persistent: Remember, setbacks are a part of the journey. Stay persistent, keep learning, and adapt as needed. Success rarely happens overnight.
Embrace Your Unique Journey
So, my fellow dream chaser, it’s time to embrace your unique journey. Doubts and fears may try to slow you down, but they don’t get to dictate your destiny. You have the power to turn those dreams into reality, one fearless step at a time.
And when those doubts creep in, remember that you’re not alone in this. You have the strength, the resilience, and the courage to overcome anything that stands between you and your dreams. And if you need extra support, a coach might be the perfect companion to get you to where you want to go faster.
So go on, take that first step. Write that book, start that business, or chase whatever dream fills your heart with passion. I’m cheering you on every step of the way. Together, we’ve got this.